Assassin's Creed Chibis
by xInfiniteInMysteryx
Summary: This is a series of one shots starring Ezio, Altair, Desmond, and others. This is basically their lives as chibis and all the weird and random adventures they have. Non yaoi, and expect OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This was something I randomly wrote at school out of pure boredom. This one is one of my first stories, so I'm still thinking baby steps. Anyway I original wanted these to be comics, but sadly I can't draw to save my life. So I hope you like it, enjoy . P.S expect OOC!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; if I did I think I would bring Ezio to school with me every day.**

How to Ruin a Throwing Knife Lesson

One day Altair was forced to train Desmond how to throw a knife, however Desmond was sucking at it. Ezio, seeing this decide to come help. During the training Ezio kept on interrupting Altair, saying how he would throw it.

"Shut up! Let me teach! I'm the master for a reason!" shouted the annoyed Altair.

"But I'm a master too."

"No!" Altair aimed his throwing knife at Ezio.

"Hey easy! Look! You're upsetting Desmond."

"I hate it when you two fight," said Desmond while he was huddled on the ground. Then Ezio walked up to Altair with arms out.

"Ancestor hug?" Altair made a disgusted sound but went for the hug, but then,

"Big jellyfish!" And Ezio wiggled his arms while backing away before Altair could hug him. Then Altair threw a knife at him.

The End 

* * *

><p><span>Stuck in an Elevator<span>

One day Altair went with Desmond to the mall, because Desmond had to buy a new hoodie, and Altair went because he wanted to get away from Ezio. However Ezio was at the mall buying arrows for his crossbow when he saw them about to go in an elevator. Ezio, who like to be a part of everything, ran over to them and joined them in the elevator.

"Why! Why are you here!" shouted Altair.

"I was shopping so I had a reason," Ezio stuck out his tongue. Altair's eye twitched and threw a throwing knife at Ezio. But Ezio ducked and the knife hit the buttons on the elevator pad. The elevator came to a complete halt.

"What's happening? I'm scared," Desmond said while putting his arms around Altair.

"Desmond relax, Altair just broke the elevator." Ezio calmly said as he patted Desmond's head.

"Like that time Altair broke Leonardo's paint brush?"

"Yeah, but don't worry we'll get out. Let's do something to pass the time guys!"

Desmond then got really happy and started singing Moves like Jagger by Maroon 5 to pass the time. Ezio started to dance along to the song, while Altair was getting a headache.

"Come on Altair lighten up," Altair glared at Ezio, but Altair (to make Desmond happy) wiggled his finger to the music. An hour later they were freed thanks to a firefighter and crowbar.

* * *

><p><span>The End<span>

Swimming!

On a boring day Ezio started feeling very hot, so there was only one way to cool off. Swimming in the waters if Venice. So he called Desmond, who called Altair.

"I'm not going!" Altair told Desmond.

"But it's fun."

"Hell no! Why do I want to swim in water people might have pooped in!"

"…. It's fun."

"Uh huh any other reasons? I bet Ezio is going," silence was on Desmond's end.

"He is! I'm not going."

"No please go!" If you don't go who will help me cross the street?"

"Desmond you know how to cross the street. Remember? You learned how to do that in the animus last week."

"Yeah but school buses still scare me." Altair sighed and sadly agreed.

~~~~~~An Hour Later~~~~~~~

"I knew it! You can't swim!" Ezio pointed and laughed at the red faced Altair.

"I can swim, I just choose not to." Altair eye the water, gulping at the deepness. Suddenly from behind Ezio pushed him Altair into the water.

"Help I'm drowning! I'm dying."

Altair flailed his arms wildly. Ezio swum next to him and splashed his face.

"Relax. See your fine. You're only slightly drowning."

"You're an asshole. You know what, I'm getting out. Desmond, come!" Desmond swum over and pulled Altair by the arm and helped him out. So while Desmond and Ezio swum in the water, Altair was sweating and getting a sun burn.

The End

* * *

><p><span>Riding on a Pig <span>

Altair had better things to do that day but he to babysit Desmond and Ezio at the Villa. Ezio was bored and needed something to do. Finally he found a pig walking by the Villa. He got on the pig (who he named Hector) and started to ride on its back. Desmond seeing Ezio on the pig wanted a turn but Ezio wouldn't share. Desmond complained to Altair, and Altair said," be a man!" This only made Desmond cry, Ezio happy, and Altair annoyed.

"Riding on a pig, baby Ezio!"

The End (no seriously, until next time )

**In case anyone is wondering the whole riding on a pig idea come from a video I saw on Youtube called Baby Monkey Going Backwards on a Pig, and the video is made by Parry Gripp.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly .**

**Anyway enjoy :)**

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><p><span>Speed Dating Awkwardness<span>

It was an ordinary day for Desmond. The birds were singing, the children were doing drugs, everything was normal. Until Ezio came running up to him.

"Come on. You, me, and Altair, speed dating now!"

Ezio grabbed Desmond's arm and took him to the nearest Starbucks. When they got there they saw Altair awkwardly sitting with an ex- girlfriend of Ezio's

"So, um, what do you do for fun?" they heard Altair ask.

"I steal from people," replied Rosa.

"Next!" Then Rosa got up from her sit.

Altair glared at Ezio and gave him the middle finger. Ezio went up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, we all need to get in new relationships," the hopeful Italian said.

"No, I'm happy with where I am. You sir just want to get laid by a new person."

"Untrue!" the highly offended Ezio said, "and besides, I did it with almost half these people."

"I thought girls had cooties, Altair."

Both Ezio and Altair gave Desmond a confused look, and then Altair slammed his head on the table.

"Ok let's start. Desmond you take that table were Cristina is sitting. I'll take that one that La Volpe was just at. Altair you stay here, and if you get up I'll arrow storm your ass!"

Round one!

"So what's your ideal date?" Altair asked Caterina.

"Having sex for politics," Altair eye twitched.

Round Two!

"So you're a natural red head?" Desmond asked Sofia.

"Yes. You do realize in my time hair dye isn't invented yet."

This only gave Desmond an idea to make a Time Machine to go back in time to introduce hair dye.

Round Three!

"So what do you see in Altair? He can't possibly be romantic like me."

"Well maybe you don't know him as well as I do," Maria gave Ezio a in your face smile.

"So what you're saying is the sex is good?"

Round Four!

"So explain to me what a computer is again."

"Altair this is the tenth time I told you," replied Rebecca.

"Yeah but how does a box do that? It's like magic in a Disney movie." Rebecca just threw an empty Starbuck cup at him.

Round Five!

"No, just no. Next!" Then Shaun left Desmond's table.

Round Six!

"You know I have a thing for blondes." Ezio gave Lucy the sexy Italian assassin look.

"You should be focusing on finding the pieces of Eden Ezio."

"Oh so you're the business type?" The Ezio got up on the table with his arms in the air.

"Are you prepared to have crazy assassin monkey sex with me!"

Then Lucy got up and left for the door.

After Everything

"So who did you guys like?" asked Ezio.

"Um Maria, duh," replied Altair.

"I don't know, although I did have an interesting conversation with Leonardo about math. It made my head hurt," then Desmond rubbed his head.

"Good, because Sofia is mine!" Ezio ran off to the other direction to find the red head.

"What was the point of this?" Asked the confused Altair.

"I don't know, but I kinda want ice cream. Take me?" Altair sighed and took Desmond to get a chocolate cone.

The End

* * *

><p><span>Concentration, Concentration <span>

It was another boring day for Ezio; he didn't want to see Desmond. Altair banned him from his sight until further notice. So Ezio decide to his bestest friend Leonardo. So he did it.

At Leonardo's

"Ezio, it's good to see you. Come, sit sit!" Leonardo rushed Ezio to a seat.

"Ezio please do me a favor I'm working an important painting. So please try not to make too much noise. I don't want to break my concentration."

"Great," Ezio crossed his arms in frustration; he didn't want to sit in silence. Suddenly Desmond opened the door running, with a hidden blade out.

"Ezio! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Ezio looked at the frantic Desmond,"What is it?"

"Al Mualim! His alive! I saw him!"

"Please Desmond be quiet, I'm trying to work." Leonardo went back to his painting.

"Are you sure you saw Al Mualim?" ask Ezio.

Leonardo put ear plugs in his ears while Ezio spoke.

"I'm sure. Look, I even took a picture of him."

Ezio, in serious assassin mode looked at the picture. Then he whacked Desmond's head. The sound made Leonardo's eyebrow twitch.

"This isn't Al Mualim. This is the Santa at the mall. How do you get them confused!"

Suddenly Leonardo forgot what he was painting, his concentration now gone.

"Shut up!" I need to concentrate! I'm sorry but you both need to leave."

The angry Leonardo took both the assassins arms and threw them out onto the street. Ezio and Desmond sit up and looked at each other.

"So you want to go after Al Mualim?" said Desmond.

"For the last time it was Santa. But sure it might be fun. Race you!"

The End

* * *

><p><span>A Cat in a Tree<span>

During a walk in the park Desmond saw a cat in a tree.

"I'll save you kitty!" Desmond took out a throwing knife, but sadly missed. He did it again and still missed. Annoyed he called Altair.

"But it's a cat," argued Altair.

"It's a living being! It has a right to be free from a tree!"

"Fine, I'll be there in five minutes."

`~Five Minutes Later~

"You bought Ezio too? Good we could use as much help as possible."

Altair glared at the grinning Italian next to him.

"No, he invited himself. I ran into him on the way."

"Literally," Ezio pointed at his new black eye.

"So how do we do this?"

Ezio took out his cross bow and aimed at the branch, but when the arrow hit the branch nothing happened. Then Altair took his sword and threw it, but when it hit the branch it broke in half. Ezio decided to call his assassins to arrow storm the tree, but that only cut off the cat's tail.

"The tail is on my head! AHHHHH!" Desmond ran in circles screaming. Altair simply plucked the tail off Desmond's head.

"Oh thank you. Any other ideas?" Ezio and Altair shook their heads.

"I'm sorry kitty! I'm sorry!" Desmond seat on the floor in disappointment.

"What wrong with him?" The assassins turned to see Malik watching the scene.

"We can't get a cat out of a tree," Altair grimly said.

Malik started to laugh, "You think I could try?" The assassins nodded their heads, and watched Malik walk to the tree. A second later they saw him climbing the tree, reaching the branch that held the cat. He seat on the branch, and with his arm he scooped up the cat, and jumped onto the ground. He put the missing tailed cat on the ground and watched it walk away.

The three assassins looked at him with their mouth's hanging open.

"How?" They yelled

Malik shrugged his shoulders, "I'm awesome," he replied and walked way.

"You know what that means right?" The two assassins looked at Ezio.

"We just got owned by a crippled guy."

"Altair you have cool friends." Desmond said happily.

The End 


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi everyone I just wanted to say that I'll be taking request for this story, so if there is any weird situation you want to see happen in the story just let me know. Also I might not be updating these stories as fast, because I have to write a one act play for school which could take up some time. But don't worry it won't last very long. So I hope you enjoy the story, and don't be afraid to review.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; if I did Ezio and Altair would still have big roles in AC3.**

* * *

><p><span>The Beach Incident<span>

Today Altair, Ezio, and Desmond all took a trip to the beach. Altair stayed as far from the water as possible, saying it had nothing to do with not knowing how to swim. Ezio tried skinny dipping, but everyone begged him to keep his clothes on. Meanwhile Desmond was making sandcastles with Leonardo. Right before Desmond could put a mini Assassin's Den flag on it; Cesare came and kicked it down.

"Templars rule!" and he ran away flailing his arms. Desmond and Leonardo looked sadly at their ruined sand castle.

"We shouldn't have to stand for this! Come on Leonardo it's time for revenge!" Desmond pulled Leonardo up to his feet and went to hunt the crazy Templar down. But first Desmond went to talk to Altair about this.

"Hey Altair could you help me and Leonardo get awesome revenge on Cesare?"

"No."

"But why?"

"You see this line," Altair pointed below revealing a line in the sand.

"Yeah."

"I'm not crossing this line."

"Does this have to do with the water?"

"No! Why don't you ask Ezio to help you? He loves being involved in everything."

"I would but Ezio is busy trying to skinny dip."

From afar they saw Ezio on a rock getting ready to get naked, but Mario pushed him in the water before it was too late.

"Go deal with Cesare, I wish you luck. Go before Cesare kicks another castle."

So Desmond left to look for Cesare, finally he found him about to kick Yusuf sand castle. Before Cesare could strike Desmond made a sand ball and threw it at his head.

"That was for my sand castle, and any other castle you destroyed! Everyone rise up against him! Let us all avenge our sandy castles!"

So Leonardo, Claudia, Yusuf, Lucy, Machiavelli, and of course Desmond attacked him with sand balls. Cesare finally ran away screaming, and Desmond was victories! Also Ezio finally got a chance to skinny dip.

The End

* * *

><p><span>Hanging Out With Subject 16 (Umm Clay)<span>

"Do I have to?" Desmond asked Lucy.

"Yes, he needs friends Desmond, please just do it."

Desmond sighed, "Fine, but you own me."

"Don't worry I'll get you three packs of Oreos."

"Yes!"

~At the Villa Auditore~

"You live here?" said Clay.

"Most of the time, sometimes Ezio kicks me out. So I stay with Altair in Masyaf, but he sometimes kicks me out too. When that happens I stay in one of the hideouts."  
>"Any reason why they would kick you out?"<p>

"I once thought during a full moon that I was trying into a werewolf, I freaked Ezio really bad with that incident. So whenever I do something weird he kicks me out. With Altair I just annoy him sometimes."

Suddenly Clay ran off into the Villa, and started touching paintings.

"Subject 16stop touching that, Ezio doesn't like the paintings being touched!" Clay quickly turned around giving him the look of death.

"That's not my name! IT'S CLAY!" Then he grabbed Desmond by the collar of his hoodie and started shaking him.

"I'm sorry Subject 16!"

"IT'S CLAY!"

Desmond started to cry, "Subject 16!"

"CLAY!"

Then thanks to Clay shaking Desmond a huge painting fell on their heads knocking them unconscious.

~An Hour Later~

"Then he was on fire and- oh my god!" Ezio yelled when he say the unconscious Desmond and Subject 16. Ezio and Altair ran up to them.

"Desmond, wake up. Come on you're not in another coma are you?" Ezio started lightly slapping his face.

"Wake up! You're the only thing that stops Altair from killing me! I mean I'm sorry about the other guy, but I don't really care if his dead. No offense Desmond's friend." Then Desmond twitched.

"He moved!"

"Yup his alive, his always twitching, name a time when he wasn't twitching," said Altair.

"This morning, when he was watching Spongebob."

"Anyway what do we do with his friend? He could be dead for all we know."

"Well here what we do. We both put Subject 16 in an empty room, leave him there for a week, and if his not awake we bury him in the backyard. And no one will ever know," Ezio said.

"I kind of like that plan. What do we do with Desmond?"

"Just leave him there, he'll wake up eventually. Now come help me pick him up."

Then the two assassins grabbed Subject 16, and they heard him say, "Clay." But then they accidently bumped his head to the wall, making him unconscious again.

The End

* * *

><p><span>The Baby<span>

One day Desmond, Ezio, and Altair were walking in the park, and Desmond had a question.

"Where do babies come from?"

Altair and Ezio stopped mid step, and looked at each other.

Altair awkwardly began, "Well, um, you see. When two people um…" Then Ezio butted in.

"You two people to make a baby, not five just two." Ezio turned to face Altair, and put his hands on his shoulders.

"Let's pretend Altair and I are a loving couple," Altair made a vomiting face, "Altair loving couples don't make that face. Ok let's say I'm the dad and Altair is the mom."

"What? No I'm not a female, and I would never be the mother of your child. Ever!"

"Just pretend for Desmond's sake. Now when they really love each other they-"

Suddenly a baby fell from the sky landing in Ezio's arms. Desmond started jumping happily,

"Congratulations you guys! Your parents! Altair you're officially a mom."

"No Desmond I'm not, this is just some random baby."

Ezio in amazement said, "Altair babies don't just fall from the sky. It's out destiny to raise this child."

"No it probably fell out of a plane or something. People misplace their baby all the time nowadays. "

"Everyone knows babies don't fall out of planes Altair," said Desmond.

"Guys we need to take this baby to the police."

"It didn't kill anyone! We can't have it arrested!" replied Desmond. Altair just put his hand on his face.

"How about we take him to the hospital?"

"No! I want to keep him. And I shall name him…. Cheddar," Said Ezio.

"Ezio, this baby isn't a toy! He probably has real parents looking for him."

"But we bonded so much."

"Really? We only had him for two minutes."

"And it has been the most magically two minutes of my life."

Altair rolled his eyes, and grabbed the baby.

"I'm taking him to the police. I'm going whether you like it or not."

"Cheddar nooo! I'll never forget you!"

"They grow up so fast," Desmond said.

The End

* * *

><p><span>Truth or Dare<span>

It was a beautiful rainy day when Ezio called Desmond to come over and play Truth or Dare. Desmond agreed and called Altair.

"This Truth or Dare game sounds ridiculous. I'm not going."

"But it's fun. And you have to go, who will help me tie my shoes?"

"Desmond, seriously? You learned how to do that in the animus two days age."

"Yeah, but the bunny won't go in the hole."

Finally Altair agreed, and went with him.

~At the Villa~

"I want to go first!" Ezio flailed his arms hoping to go first.

"Ok, so this one is for… hmm Altair," Ezio pointed at him.

"Oh no," Altair replied.

"Truth or dare?"

"Neither."

"No pick one." Altair crossed his arms.

"Fine, truth." Ezio snickered evilly.

"Have you ever took all your clothes off when you were alone and started dancing around the room?"

"That's a crazy question!"

"Crazy, but you have to answer it."

Altair's face turned red, "A few times."

Ezio and Desmond busted out laughing.

"Shut up! And if either of you tell anyone I'll hunt you down."

Ezio and Desmond quickly deleted their Facebook statues.

"My turn now. Ezio, truth or dare?"

"Dare, I'm not a scared."

"I dare you to hug Vidic and tell him that his an awesome person, and that you want to be his friend."

Ezio made a horrified face, "Never! I rather die on a bed of needles!"

"You have to do it," Altair said mocking Ezio's voice.

~At Abstergo~

Vidic was having a normal day of being evil until Ezio walked in with a pained looked. He went up to Vidic and gave him a hug that was bone crashing.

"You are awesome, and I want you to be my friend," Ezio said with a forced smile.

"Security!"

~Back at the Villa~

Both Desmond and Altair were laughing at the shamed assassin with his head down. Ezio looked up and glared at Altair who was rolling on the floor.

"Ok relax it wasn't that funny," Ezio said.

"Do you want to know my favorite part? When security came and punched you in the stomach. They will forever be my hero."

"Altair has anyone ever told you that you're an asshole?"

"Yes on several occasions."

"Desmond, truth or dare?" Ezio quickly said hoping to change the subject.

"I'll go with truth to be safe."

"Your never safe with Ezio," muttered Altair.

"Have you ever…. Stalked someone to their house and left a threatening letter at their door."

Desmond looked up trying to remember.

"Once, when Rosa stole my pillow pet, I followed her to her house but I didn't leave a letter. Instead I knocked on her door and when she opened it I ran inside to search the house. Then I ran out with my pillow pet and called it a day."

"What did she do? Asked Ezio.

"Oh she called the cops, but I drop kicked her before she could finish the call. She's all better now, but she doesn't remember what happened."

"All for a pillow pet?" Altair raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! It was a dragon! So anyway Altair truth or dare?

"Dare. You know I'm actually starting to like this game."

"I dare you to hug Ezio and say his one of your best friends even when he makes you mad."

"Hahaha you're so funny. Now I don't like this game, I'm leaving."

On that note the game ended.

The End (Bye!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Like always I own nothing; if I did they wouldn't have made Desmond's face really weird looking in Revelations.**

* * *

><p><span>Flashbacks and Babysitting<span>

"So how long do you want me to watch your kids?" Ezio asked over the phone with Altair.

"Just until the afternoon, I have to assassinate Darth Vader today."

Ezio says confused, "you know I don't remember you ever having kids. I didn't even notice when Maria was pregnant."

"Ezio how could you not remember you saw her pregnant twice! You even have seen Darim and Sef!"

~Flashback~

"Altair, why don't you ever have good food?" Ezio said while looking in the fridge.

"Ezio get out of there," Altair pulled him out of the fridge.

"First off, I never even invited you over, and two Maria isn't feeling well. So I neither kick you out or I call the police for breaking and entering."

"What's wrong with Maria?"

Suddenly they heard a vomiting sound, but that was lost on Ezio.

"Can't you hear her throwing up!"

"Ewwww! This only proves that you're a bad cook!" and Ezio ran away.

~Another Flashback~

"Desmond is it me or do you think Maria is getting fatter?" Ezio asked during their sparing session.

"Well she's due any day now," replied Desmond.

"I'm not talking about her library books! I think the animus is really messing with your head lately."

"I wasn't talking about her books," said the sad Desmond.

~Flashback Once Again~

Ezio, Desmond, and Altair were all sitting on the couch watching TV when they heard Maria yelling for Altair. When Altair left the room Ezio heard Altair make an excited scream. Moments later they saw Altair helping a waddling Maria to the door. Desmond started jumping up and down excitedly.

"Her water finally broke! I'm going to be um… a lot of greats grandson!" Exclaimed Desmond, who then hugged Ezio.

"What's going on I didn't pay attention, I was too busy watching TV." Ezio pushed Desmond off and ran to the TV.

"NO DEAL!" he screamed.

~Flashback Again~

"Altair when did you start collecting baby dolls?" Ezio said to him while holding baby Darim poking his stomach.

"He's not a baby doll! And stop poking him, you'll make him cry!"

"This doll is just so life like, it's hard to believe it's fake."

"For the last time his not! Now give him back."

"Ok, catch!" Ezio was ready to throw the baby in the air until Desmond come to the rescue.

"Here Altair," Desmond handed him the baby. Then Darim threw up on Desmond's new sneakers.

"Noooo! My shoes!" Desmond fell on his knees crying.

Altair let out a sigh, "I think Malik or Leonardo might be better babysitters."

~Finally Flashback~

"Push Maria! Push!" Shouted Altair as Maria was in labor for the second time.

"Altair, get her a toilet! This isn't healthy!" Ezio said trying to shout over Maria's screaming. Then Ezio noticed the doctor helping Maria give birth.

"Excuse me how dare you look at that! Altair, do something!"

"Ezio this is the doctor, its ok."

"But his getting a peek show of her-"Ezio was kicked out before he could finish the sentence.

~Back on the Phone~

"Wow this whole time I didn't even know. How could not notice?" said Ezio breaking out of the flashbacks.

"That's because you can be blind sometimes."

"No I'm not!"

"Whatever. So is Desmond with you today?"

"No he has an animus session today. His going to learn how to paint with the colors of the wind."

"Good, because the last time he watched them they were almost got eaten by a Tyrannosaurus."

Ezio made a confused face, "and how did that happen?"

"Sef found a door that led to a parallel universe; everything just went bad from there."

"Ok…. Just bring them over; I'll take good care of them."

~Arriving at the Villa~

When Altair entered the villa with Darim and Sef, Ezio ran over to them and tried to give Altair a high five. However Altair ignored the hand.

"Before I could trust you with their lives I have to tell you that Darim is allergic to kangaroos, and Sef is scared of mutant robots."

"Mutant robots?" Ezio raised an eyebrow.

"He had a nightmare about them once; he doesn't like to talk about it." Altair kneels to reach the boys' eye level, "you two be good." Altair turns to Ezio, "and if something bad happens to them I'll show you naked pictures of Rodrigo Borgia"

Ezio made a horrified face. Altair ruffled his sons' hair and left the villa. Ezio was left alone with the boys. Darim and Sef just blinked at Ezio.

"So what do you guys like to do for fun?"

The kids only blinked at Ezio.

"Do you want to draw?"

Again only blinks.

"Ok….. Are you hungry?"

Still just the blinks.

"Do you want to do anything?"

The boys continued to blink. Ezio frustrated decide to take out his sword.

"Hey you want my sword. Look it's shiny." He waved the sword in their faces but they made no reaction.

"Ok if you want to do something, blink twice."

Sef blinked four times, and Darim didn't blink at all.

"Fine let's have a staring contest."

Ezio got to eye level with the boys. However the boys started blinking wildly.

"Let's do a blinking contest!" But the boys didn't even blink.

"You know what I give up! Do what you want, just don't put my villa on fire."

~When Altair comes back~

"Here take your kids!" Ezio tossed the kids to Altair before he could even come in, and Ezio slammed the front door. Altair and the boys broke out laughing, and he started high fiving his sons.

"Good job, I told you freaking him out was fun."

"And I even took all his throwing knives," Darim took out the knives waving them in the air.

"I've never been so proud." And Altair gave them both cookies.

The End

* * *

><p><span>Vidic Theory <span>

Desmond was at McDonalds when he saw his old enemy walk in. Desmond with his hidden blade out tackled Vidic to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Desmond yelled at him.

"Buying a Big Mac, Mr. Miles. I can't buy food on my break?"

"No, because bad guys don't eat Big Macs, they eat Whoppers!" Then Vidic poked Desmond in the eye making him let go of him.

"See! That's something a bad guy would do!" Desmond said rubbing his eye.

"While you're here Mr. Miles would you like to hear my new theory I'm working on. Maybe I could get you to be another test subject."

"No I don't really care."

"Good take a seat." Vidic pushed Desmond to a seat, Desmond glared at him.

"My latest theory is that in another dimension men can give birth!"

"You're so awkward," Desmond said in barely a whisper.

"Think about it, a child grows in our wound, and then we get into labor. But when we go to give birth we-"

"Vidic nobody likes you and your theories! You're so weird." And Desmond got up before Vidic could finish his sentence.

Then Malik come from out of nowhere and killed Vidic with a throwing knife, and everyone in the assassin's creed universe cheered, and celebrated for many weeks.

The End 

**AN: I know I didn't put as many mini stories this time since I'm still working on my one act play, I just really wanted to give something to you guys . Also I've been replaying the first assassin's creed, and I remembered how much I hate Vidic, he really is an asshole. So yes I had to kill him. So I hope you enjoyed yourself, and please review if you want **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry about being gone for so long. School has been keeping me busy. So these stories probably won't be coming as fast as they use to, but I'll try to update often. So a review would be nice, and if you have any situation you want to see happen in the story just let me know. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah!**

The Movies

It was another regular day for the three assassins. Together they were sitting on a couch being bored. Then suddenly Shaun opened the door and saw the assassins just sitting.

"How about instead of sitting here bored, why don't you oh I don't know go kill people like you suppose to?"

"We killed everyone who needed to die today," said Ezio as he changed his position on the couch.

"And we beat up Vidic too. He came over asking for sugar, and everything got really violent from there," said Desmond.

"I thought he was died?"

"We did too. Apparently science saved him," Desmond put air quotes on the word science.

"So we partied for no reason then?"

Ezio gasped at Shaun, "You don't need a reason to party."

"…..Anyway, why don't you guys get off your lazy asses and go do something. Maybe you could save orphans. Play kick the can. Go to the movies-"

Desmond, Altair, and Ezio all sit up straight at the word movies. They all looked at Shaun wide eyed.

"We can never go there again. We all got banned," said Altair.

Shaun looked at all three of them, and turned around to go leave.

"I don't want to know, and I don't care to know."

Ezio grabbed Shaun's arm and pulled onto a chair.

"Oh no. Why?" Shaun palmed his face.

"Well, let me tell you what happened to us," Ezio said all up in Shaun's face.

~Ezio and Altair's Incident~

One day Ezio was on a date at the movies with Cristina, although they weren't watching the movie, they were making out, sucking face, whatever term you like to use.. All around the theater you had the sound slurping and giggling.

Altair who was sitting farther away heard the couple and tried to put popcorn in his ear to not hear them.

Finally Cristina broke the kiss, "Ezio, you kiss like a excited puppy." She went back to kiss him, but Ezio backed away insulted.

"Excuse me? I kiss like a Roman God!" The sound of shushing was heard.

"Ezio don't worry about it." Cristina whispered, looking around to see people staring at them.

"No! Listen here Missy!" Ezio got up from his sit flailing his arms. People in the theater turned around to look at them.

"I don't lick your face! I'm also not small and covered with hair! Be a little grateful that I'm kissing you, because you kiss like a cow having a seizure!"

"Oh my god shut up!" Yelled Altair.

Altair then threw a sword at Ezio, but Ezio dodged it in time. Ezio looked around to see who threw and he saw Altair's annoyed face. Ezio smiled at him and waved.

"Altair I didn't know you were watching this movie too! What's up?"

"Ezio sit down and watch the movie! Look your date just left." Ezio turned to see an empty chair next to him. Ezio made a sad face.

"Can I come sit with you!" Ezio shouted.

"No! Stop shouting we are being annoying to other people!"

Ezio ran down the aisle to sit next to Altair. Altair rolled his eyes, and dumped his popcorn on Ezio's head. Ezio looked at him with his mouth hanging open, but before he could do anything they were asked to leave the theater forever. Ezio had never smelled so buttery in his life.

~Desmond's Incident~

Desmond was sitting watching a movie, but not understanding a single thing about the movie. Although Clay (Subject 16) was totally getting the movie.

Desmond leaned over and whispered to Clay, "I don't get it."

"How do you not get it? It makes perfect sense. It's about a robot panda that has to save the world from awkward aliens."

"I still don't get it. Why would a robot panda want to do that? Shouldn't he be in a zoo?"

"Desmond I will slap you! All you've done so far was askwhat this movie is about! AHHHHHHHH"

"Someone help! His going insane again!" Shouted Desmond who stood up pointing at Clay.

Then the crowd started booing them, and they were asked to leave.

~Present Day~

"Didn't any of you know the meaning of staying silent?" Said Shaun.

"We do. But we only do that when it's necessary," said Ezio.

"You were all at a movie theater. I think silence is necessary there."

"Says who? There is no king of the movies who creates these laws, "said Altair.

"Alright fine, do what you want I'm leaving." Shaun got up and slammed the door.

The three of them were left alone still in their boredom.

"I want cupcakes," Desmond randomly said. Then Ezio went to the kitchen and threw a muffin at him.

The End

The Bet

One day the three assassins and Malik were all relaxing on the Villa's rooftop.

"Look, it's a deformed rock!" Desmond pointed at one of the clouds in the sky.

"Look it's a tomato," Malik also pointed at the sky.

"Yes yes all clouds look different. Does anyone have something interesting to say?" said the very bored Ezio.

Desmond glared at Ezio, "I thought what I said was interesting. I bet if I started talking about my hallucinations you would be disturbed. But I don't talk about them because I didn't like disturbing people!" Desmond was now standing up yelling at the frighten Ezio. Then the imaginary light bulb over Ezio's head turned on.

"We could make a bet."

"On what?" Altair said lazily.

"Hm I don't know. Anybody have any good ideas?"

"We could bet on how many times you arrow storm guards who weren't bothering you," Altair said Ezio.

"No! Every guard deserves an arrow storm. They should feel honored!"

Altair rolled his eyes and laid down on the roof again hoping for a nap.

"Aw Altair are you sleepy?" Desmond said to him. Altair groaned when Desmond started pointing his ribs with a stick.

"Yes I'm tired! I was up all night doing an assassination mission. He wouldn't just drop dead and die! He wanted to be stubborn,"Altair turned away from Desmond hoping that he would stop poking him.

Ezio leaned over to Desmond to whisper to him, "we should bet how fast Altair can roll off the roof. Quick let's push him!"

"I heard that! Don't even try."

"You never let me have fun." Ezio pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Then Ezio smiled and snapped his fingers.

"How about we do something easy. I bet I could beat Altair in a race, "said Ezio.

Altair got up and raised an eyebrow. Then he started laughing.

"I can beat you even with one leg." The Altair gave a guilty look to Malik.

"Sorry Malik."

Malik touched where his old arm used to be. "It's ok, I'm used to it. Carry on with your rules for your bet." Everyone sat awkwardly for a while until Ezio finally broke the silence.

"So how about we race from here to the stables?"

"Fine then, this should be easy. What does the winner get?

"If you win I leave you alone for two weeks. But if I win I make you go swimming, and you have to go in the water, no excuses."

Altair winced at the thought of swimming, but not being bothered by Ezio for two weeks was worth a try. Altair nodded his head to Ezio in agreement, and Ezio smirked in reply. Altair got up and turned to Desmond and Malik.

"I want you two to wait at the stables to see who wins. Got that?" They both nodded their heads and ran to the stables. Both Ezio and Altair got into a racing stance.

"When I say three we go, "Altair nodded already making a route.

"One… two…..three. Oh my god Darim is being eaten by Templars!"

"Yeah not falling for that one. Everybody knows Templars don't eat children." Then Altair and Ezio went into a sprint.

~From the Stables~

Both Desmond and Malik were watching the race with binoculars, and announcing everything they saw.

"No Altair why did you fall on the floor! There was a haystack in that spot yesterday! Who moved it?" Desmond yelled scaring the horses next to him.

"And Ezio just missed that ledge. Oh look at that he fell on a fat woman. At least it was a soft fall."

"No Altair! Don't run into the orphans!"

"Ezio just keeps on falling on those courtesans, I don't know if his doing that by accident or on purpose. Either way a dozen of courtesans are on top of him."

Soon both Ezio and Altair were back on track and were neck and neck. Finally it was Ezio who reached the stables first while running into a horse.

"Victory!" Ezio turned around to seen the angry face of Altair.

"Lighten up Altair, maybe a nice swim will cool you off." Ezio taunted.

"You know I would have won if I wasn't so tired." Snapped Altair and Ezio just chuckled.

"Whatever you say old man." Ezio put an arm around Altair's shoulders and grinned.

"Now who wants to go swimming?"

Desmond and Malik cheered, while Altair began using every curse word he knew.

The End


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry about the late update, life has been keeping me busy. Also I'd like to thank BADAZZtoldya for the idea with Cesare as a teacher, I had a lot of fun writing that. Anyway I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

School

Altair, Ezio, and Desmond were walking in a zoo looking at a flyer about Cesare's new teaching job.

"Do you really think Cesare gave up being a Templar to be a teacher?" Desmond asked while he started petting a monkey. Then the monkey bit him.

"Ow! Altair the monkey bit me!" Desmond showed his bitten hand to him.

"It's fine don't worry about it."

"But what if I mutate? I can feel it happening!"

Desmond fell on the ground and started shaking. Ezio and Altair looked at each other awkwardly as people looked at Desmond giving him questioning looks.

"Anyway we should investigate. I highly doubt Cesare would just give up on being a Templar. Being an evil asshole is the only thing his good at," said Ezio.

"Then are we going to his crash class?" Altair raised his eyebrow with a smile as he imagined the trouble three of them could course.

~In A Classroom~

"Sit down class, we are about to begin."

When Cesare saw that no one would sit down his face turned red and a vein on his forehead pounded.

"Sit Down now!"

Everyone rushed to a seat, except Mario who left the room when he remembered that Cesare killed him once. Cesare then got a piece of chalk and wrote the word phobias on the board.

"Today class we are learning about phobias. Can anyone name me some phobias? "

Leonardo rose is hand "Anablephobia, fear of looking up."

"Papaphobia, fear of popes!" Ezio called out.

"Alektorophobia, fear of chickens, "said Malik.

Altair raised his hand, "Cathisophobia, fear of sitting down."

"Ambulophobia, fear of walking," said Lucy.

", fear of long words," said Claudia.

"That's real? I need to meet someone with that so I can get a book of big words and read it to them," said Ezio.

"Yeah instead of making them better you'll make them worse," said Altair.

Desmond raised his hand, "Mr. Cesare do we need to take notes on this? I don't know how to spell these words."

"Desmond be quiet I'm trying to teach!"

"But it was just a question." Desmond frowned and looked down sadly.

"Don't worry Desmond I appreciate your question, "said Giovanni. Then he patted Desmond's shoulder.

"Ezio your dad is cool."

"I know." Ezio made Desmond a in your face smile. Desmond just threw an easer at him.

"Moving on, does anyone know what the square root of pie is?"

Yusuf raised his hand. "Apples."

Cesare signed showing his impatience.

"Not apple pie. I mean the math term."

"Oh well excuse me if you don't specify." Yusuf crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Cesare. Desmond raised his hand again.

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"No! I'm teaching!"

Desmond blinked, and then he looked around awkwardly. He raised his hand again.

"Since I can't go to the bathroom can I ask a serious question."

Cesare sighed, "yes go ahead."

"How do you spell incest?"

With that Cesare's eye began to twitch and he walked over to his desk and pushed a big red button. Suddenly a hole appeared under Desmond's desk. Soon Desmond dropped into the hole screaming as he fell. The hole then closed.

Suddenly Shaun's phone rang.

"Hello? Oh hey Desmond. Everyone its Desmond his alive. Wait what? Really are you making this up? Ok I'll tell them. Desmond said his in Narnia. "Then they heard Desmond screaming over the phone and Shaun's phone disconnected.

"What happened?" asked Lucy.

"I don't know, but he'll be fine. And Mr. Cesare the answer is 3.14."

"Finally someone knows the answers. But Shaun I need to take your phone away. No cell phones in my class!"

"Do ipods count too?" asked Rebecca.

"Everything! No electrical devices!"

"What about life support?" asked Federico.

"If you need life support you should be in a hospital."

"What if you don't like hospitals?"

"Then suffer and die in my classroom."

"You bitch." Federico muttered under his breathe.

Then Cesare noticed a note on Ezio's desk.

"Ezio no passing notes in my class."

Ezio looked up and stopped writing.

"I'm not passing notes. You're just crazy."

"You are passing notes! Read your note to the class."

Ezio sighed, "it's kind of long, I'll just sum them up for you. Leonardo and I were talking about a new hidden blade design. Then for some reason we started talking about how rainbows don't taste like skittles, but actually taste like chemical. "

Another note landed on Ezio's desk.

"This one is from Sofia and you don't want to know what it says." Ezio gave a sly smile.

Four more notes landed on his desk.

"This one is from Claudia, and we were talking about oreos vs chocolate chip cookies. This one is from Yusuf and he wants to know if I want to go turtle racing with him after school. Hell yeah we will!"

Ezio ran over to Yusuf and gave him a high five and ran back to his sit.

"From Lucy it says she's worried about Desmond. Ok Lucy I think his training has prepared him for anything, so yeah. And finally from Altair it says 'Ezio stop acting stupid, Cesare might try to kill you.' Ha! I'd like to see him try."

Ezio looked about with a smiling face. But it turned to a frown once he saw Cesare's face and it wasn't a pretty sight. Suddenly steam came out of Cesare's ears.

"No passing notes!"

"Actually all the notes were thrown on his desk," Leonardo.

"Neither should be done!"

"Cesare honestly relax. I give you a teaching job for a reason," said Rodrigo.

"Shut up father! What do you know! Look at your chibi form, you look like a ball with arms!"

"That was hurtful my son. You will never learn anything." Rodrigo then got up and left the classroom.

The room was filled with awkwardness and no one made a sound, everyone just blinked for ten seconds. Finally Malik slowly raised his hand.

Suddenly Desmond fell from the ceiling. Everyone gasped as they saw him covered in snatches and blood.

"Desmond did I tell you to come back!" Cesare angrily shouted.

Desmond slowly lifted his head up and glared at him.

"Do you know what happened to me in Narnia? I got attacked by a lion who likes the taste of human flesh! And all you can say is did I tell you to come back?" Then Desmond got up and punched Cesare in the face.

"That's for being born an asshole!"

Cesare recovered from the hit, with a vein throbbing on his forehead.

"You! All of you! I quit, it was easier being a Templar! Everyone here is insane!" And Cesare left the room slamming the door behind him. Everyone in the classroom clapped and cheered. Ezio got up and put a badge on Desmond's hoodie that said 'I made an evil villain crazier badge'.

"Everyone settle down class isn't over yet." Everyone gave Desmond a confused look.

"I'm the teacher now. And today we will be learning about the history of chocolate."

The End

Monster In My Closet

Altair was sleeping peacefully as he dreamed about running on rooftops and throwing knives. Suddenly he was woken up by Sef. Altair seat up and rubbed his eyes. When his vision came into focus he saw Sef's crying face,

"Daddy, there's a monster in my closet. Kill it!"

Altair let out a sigh. "Sef there are no such things as monsters. Go back to bed." Altair went to lie down.

"But I saw him honest! He was purple with fangs, and he had wings on his feet." Altair turned his head to look at him.

"Did you have sugar before bed again? You remember what happened last time it was like that movie Inception."

"So what if I had seven pixie sticks, that's not important! Please kill him with your sword." Sef grabbed Altair's arm in attempt to pull him out of bed. Altair didn't move a bung.

"Sef go to bed. I promise I'll check for monsters in the morning."

"No what if it eats me and I die!" Sef dramatically fell onto Altair's bed." Then you will just have Darim and every day you will ask yourself 'what if I saved Sef that night?'"

"Altair just go check or none of us will get sleep," Maria sleepily said.

Altair sighed and got up from the bed. Sef took his hand and lead him to his room. Once they were both inside the room Sef pointed to the closet and said, "in there." Altair picked up a baseball bat and walked over to the closet. Slowly he opened it and looked inside.

"See Sef there's nothing to worry about. Everything was just in your imagin- Ahhh!"

From behind someone was pulling Altair's arm.

"Dad no! Leave him alone you monster!" Sef then tried pushing the monster off Altair but it didn't help much. The monster flipped Altair to the ground. Altair recovered and kicked him in the stomach. The monster was then being brutally attacked by Altair who was hitting him with the baseball bat.

"Die monster, don't touch my son!" The monster lifted his hands to cover his face.

"Altair stop it's me, Ezio!"

Altair stopped as he noticed the monster mask had fallen to the floor, and that Ezio was wearing a costume.

"Rawr!" Ezio said with a smile as he lifted his arms in the air.

Altair started hitting him again.

"Ezio what are you doing here! Are you secretly a pedo!"

"No, of course not! Ow! I'm just here for revenge! Ow stop hitting me I'm seeing yellow!"

Altair stopped hitting him and Sef ran over to Altair and cling to his leg.

"Revenge for what?"

"Sef stole my pistol. And then I got it back in the mail three days later with it broken. So I thought scaring him in the middle of the night will teach him a lesson to not mess with me."

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did! I remember you come to the Villa and you saw the pistol. Then you took it and walked out. Don't deny it because Desmond was with you when it happened."

Altair raised his eyebrow at Sef. "Sef did you take Ezio's pistol?"

Sef looked down ashamed. "Yes I had to take it, it was shiny!"

Altair made a thoughtful look. "Sef what you did was morally wrong."

"Very wrong," Ezio cut in.

"But you are also born to be an assassin, so I'm proud of you."

"What?" Ezio mouth dropped.

"You successfully stole from a master assassin. For that you can keep the pistol."

"Really?" Sef smiled.

"But that's my pistol!"

"Now it's Sef's. You can go home now."

"Oh no, I'm not leaving without my pistol."

"Ezio, consider this Sef's early birthday gift."

"No, no, no, no, no!"

"Ezio leave or else I'm calling the cops for breaking and entering. _And_ for doing pedo like activities."

"But I wasn't being a pedo!"

"I can lie and say you were."

"Nope not going," Ezio gave him a challenging look.

"Don't make me arrow storm you."

Ezio's face went serious. "You don't know how to arrow storm. I've never seen you use it."

"That's because it's so deadly I save it for special occasions."

Ezio made a face of terror.

"Fine I'll leave, but I will get my pistol back. Someday." Then Ezio jumped out the window and ran off.

The End (Bye!)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Sorry for another late update, but I hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

An Assassin Surprise Party

At Masyaf everyone (except Al Mualim and Abbas) was decorating for Altair's surprise birthday party. And Ezio hoped this party would cheer up the grumpily assassin.

"Desmond come here I have a job for you."

Desmond walked over to Ezio, who was hanging up a Templar piñata.

"I need you to distract Altair for me."

"Why can't you do it?" Desmond asked while keeping a watchful eye on Darim and Sef who were staring at the plate of cookies.

"The thing is Altair will probably try to kill me once he see me," said Ezio.

"But his always trying to kill you, what makes this time any different?" asked Desmond.

"You see I had to make sure that Altair wouldn't be at Masyaf today. So last night I told him to come over to the villa because it was on fire. He didn't believe me of course, but he came over anyway. When he opened the door I quickly hit him on the back of the head with a frying pan."

"You did what?" Maria yelled hearing the conversation.

"Nothing! I'm just kidding you silly Maria." Ezio grabbed Desmond's arm and took him away from Maria's hearing range.

"Anyway after I knocked him out I drugged him. So he should be waking up in maybe….. Oh I don't know a half hour."

"And how do you expect me to get to the Villa so fast?" Desmond yelled flailing his arms.

"Fast forward memory sequence. Remember?" Ezio said knocking on Desmond's head.

"You have three hours to get back here with him. Go!"

Ezio pushed Desmond's to the exit, and Desmond ran as fast as he could with his little chibi legs.

~At the Villa~

Altair's eyes were slowly opening and little by little his sight was getting more focused. Soon he saw Desmond clearly looking down at him with a huge smile.

"Hey buddy you're awake," Desmond gently said. Altair rubbed his eyes, and then rubbed the back of his sore head.

"Wait what happened? Hold on I remember now!" Altair leaped off the bed, his face showing how pissed off he was.

"I'm going to kill him!" Altair ran out the room with Desmond behind him.

"Altair, wait! Don't kill Ezio yet! He only hurt you because he cares!"

Desmond ran as fast as he could, finally tackling Altair to the ground.

"Desmond, get off me!" Altair tried to wiggle out of Desmond's hold.

"You can't kill him yet! I need you to help me make eggs!"

"You learned how to do that in the Animus last month!"

"Yeah but I always feel guilty because I know I just killed a baby chicken. I will never forget you Fabio!"

"This is ridiculous we are not making eggs!" Shouted Altair as he continued to struggle for freedom.

"Then take me fishing!"

"No! I might fall in the water and drown."

"Well you stay if I promise to buy you a new sword?"

"Desmond I have seventeen!" Altair was almost free from Desmond's grip.

"Then give me the talk!"

"You're not ready for the talk!"

"Yes I am! The other day Lucy asked if I wanted to have sex with her, and I said 'what's sex?'"

Altair stopped struggling, and looked at Desmond with a dumbfounded expression.

"You said what's sex?" Desmond innocently nodded.

"I could always go in the Animus and learn what it is. I could use this new guy named Connor and see his sex life."

Altair rapidly shook his head. "No you need the talk."

~Two Hours Later~

"So now you get it?" asked Altair.

Desmond looked up from his notes. "Yeah, so it's kind of like a key going in a lock."

"Sure, whatever floats your boat. Anymore questions?"

"No I'm good now. The visual aids really helped."

"Good," a silence fall between them. "Now excuse me as I go kill Ezio."

Altair started into a sprint, but Desmond grabbed Altair's wrist. In a flash Desmond pushed him in the nearest closet and ran to lock the door. A banging on the door followed.

"Desmond are you insane! You better open this door or else I'll tell everyone about you string collection!"

Desmond pressed himself against the door. "Altair listen to what I have to say. Then I'll let you out!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I'll kick this door down if you don't let me out!"

"Just listen ok?" Desmond said the sound of banging stopped.

"Ezio is actually doing something nice for you. Now I'm going to open the door but you have to promise not to run off and kill him."

Desmond received no reply. He stood in front of the door for five minutes. With a growing suspicion he opened the door. When the door was open he found the closet empty and saw a random window wide open.

"Why would there be a window in a closet. That makes no sense!"

Next to the window was a sign that said Emergency Window Exit in Case of Templar Invasion.

"Gahhhhhhaaaa!"

Desmond jumped out the window to look for Altair. Finally he saw Altair sprinting out of Monteriggioni. Desmond checked his watch, realizing the party was only a half hour away. Desmond sighed in relief.

"Altair! Ezio is at Masyaf if you still want to kill him!" Desmond shouted following after him.

~At Masyaf~

"I'm gonna kill him." Muttered Altair as he speed walked up the trail to the fortress.

"No you're not," the panting Desmond said.

"Nobody hits me on the head and drugs me without having a death wish. When I see him I'll cut his heart out and feed it to rabbits."

"I don't think rabbits like human organs." Altair rolled his eyes and entered the fortress.

"Surprise!" Everyone jumped out of their hiding spots surprising Altair which made him take out his sword. After a minute Altair realized what was going on. Ezio walked up to the assassin with a huge grin on his face.

"I'm guessing we surprised you?" Ezio said to Altair who was putting his sword away.

"Yes. So is that why you did all those horrible things to me?"

"Of course! Why would I do that on purpose? I don't want to die young."

Altair made a small smile, which was a rare sight to see. Then as soon as the smile came it vanished to seriousness.

"I'm still going to kill you!"

The Italian ran away, and Altair followed him throwing knives at him. Then Rebecca took out a camera and started taking pictures.

~Snap Shot #1~

Altair punching Ezio in the nose. The picture was blurry because there was too much movement

~Snap Shot #2~

Ezio touching his bloody nose, and Cesare in the background pointing and laughing.

~Snap Shot #3~

Ezio dunking Cesare face in the punch bowl, laughing like a manic.

~Snap Shot #4~

Desmond breaking the Templar piñata, happily cheering with his arms in the air.

~Snap Shot #5~

Mario, Shaun, Ezio, Desmond, Leonardo, and Malik dancing on the table.

~Snap Shot #6~

Altair yelling at them to get off the table.

~Snap Shot #7~

Darim and Sef under the table with their hands on the cookies.

~Snap Shot #8~

Malik laughing as Altair puts on a birthday hat on his children's request.

~Video Recording #1~

Desmond goes up to Lucy who was by herself looking at the stars. Lucy notices Desmond and gives him a smile.

"Lucy, guess what? I know what sex is now. And I want you to be the lock to my key."

Lucy makes a horrified face and backs away from him. Desmond stands there by himself confused. In the background you can hear Ezio laughing.

~Snap Shot #9~

Altair blowing out his birthday candles while everyone is clapping.

~Video Recording #2~

"But it's too early to go home." Whined Ezio who was being dragged by Altair.

"Ezio its four o'clock in the morning. My birthday's been over and you're super drunk."

"I'm not drunk I'm just happy. I'm so happy that I might make a lemonade stand tomorrow"

"Whoever spiked the punch is gonna be in so much trouble."

The End


End file.
